Why Christian formation requires more than welcome and belief
This week in Substack Seminary, Fr. Cathie Caimano asked a question that may sound unfamiliar to some but is actually fairly simple:
“What is your Rule of Life?”
The idea of a “rule of life” can sound odd to those of us formed in low-church traditions—and especially within our broader individualistic American culture.
YOLO—“You Only Live Once”—is a kind of rule of life, even if we don’t usually call it that. It’s a short phrase that expresses a guiding philosophy: life is brief, so take the risk, seize the opportunity, and don’t let fear hold you back.
Tim Riggins, from the television show Friday Night Lights, had his own rule of life: “Texas forever.” It expressed his loyalty, identity, and deep sense of belonging.
And then there’s the familiar cultural rule of life: “Work hard, play hard.” It offers a simple vision for how to spend our time and what kind of life is worth pursuing.
We all live by some kind of rule of life. The question is whether we have chosen it intentionally—or simply absorbed it from the culture around us.
But Cathie’s actual question is more straightforward:
“What are the repeated practices that help build relationship with God? For yourself—and also for your ministry?”
As she notes, “A regular set of faith practices helps us find rhythm, consistency, and direction in our life with God.”
And that raises an important question about how we think people actually become Christian.
Is Christianity something we think or something we practice?
Broadly speaking, American Christianity has often been understood as primarily about thinking the right things—mentally adhering to the correct set of beliefs.
In many ways, that assumption has shaped our preaching, faith formation, discipleship curriculum, and evangelism.
But what if Christianity is not strengthened primarily by thinking the right things, but by doing the right things repeatedly?
In evangelical contexts, I’ve increasingly heard the phrase:
Belong → Behave → Believe
The idea is that someone is first welcomed into a community and given a sense of belonging. Then they begin participating in the practices of that community—loving, serving, giving, praying, worshiping. Through that participation, belief takes deeper root.
For many years, however, the process often worked in exactly the opposite direction.
When belief came before belonging
When I was in junior high, my family sought to join a Baptist church.
The Sunday we came forward to join, we were immediately ushered upstairs to meet with several deacons. My father was asked to explain what he believed.
Then came, at least implicitly, the expectation that we would behave correctly—which, in many conservative Christian circles, meant adherence to a fairly strict set of social expectations.
If you believed the right things and behaved the right way, eventually you would find that you belonged.
Believe → Behave → Belong.
There are obvious problems with that model, particularly when “Christian behavior” becomes indistinguishable from the cultural preferences of a particular community.
But I wonder whether some churches have responded by swinging too far in the opposite direction.
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Welcome alone does not form people
In many mainline churches, I see an extravagant emphasis on welcome and belonging—which I deeply appreciate.
But sometimes there is little intentionality about what comes next.
And to be clear, when I use the word behave, I am not talking about policing social or cultural behaviors (not that our actions never matter).
What I mean by behaviors is Christian practices that form our faith.
Retired preaching professor Ronald Allen writes:
“We learn how to engage in Christian practice by practicing, that is, by doing the things that are central to Christian identity over and over, which matures us as Christians. Practice thus both forms the church and is a means through which the church expresses its identity. We become what we practice.”
Author Chuck DeGroat makes a similar point more succinctly:
“What we behold, we become.”
He also describes sin not simply as individual behavioral violations but as habitual participation in patterns that disconnect us from ourselves, others, and God.
In other words, our repeated actions shape who we become.
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Formation requires practice
The way of Christlikeness is not formed by checking boxes or completing a list of assignments.
But neither is it formed simply by agreeing with the right ideas.
What we repeatedly do shapes us.
Prayer shapes us.
Worship shapes us.
Giving shapes us.
Serving shapes us.
Confession shapes us.
Even physical practices—kneeling, standing, raising our hands, receiving communion—can shape us.
This doesn’t mean prescribing every detail of someone’s spiritual life.
It means intentionally inviting people into practices through which they can encounter God and become more like Christ.
Belonging matters. But belonging should lead somewhere.
What are your practices producing?
That leads to a question not just for churches, but for any ministry or organization:
Is everything you do—and everything you ask others to do—helping form people toward your intended purpose?
For a church, are your practices actually forming people in the way of Jesus?
For a nonprofit focused on childhood literacy, are your programs and activities actually helping children become stronger readers?
Activity alone is not formation. Busyness is not necessarily purpose.
The question is what all that activity is forming us into.
And perhaps that is one of the gifts of thinking about a Rule of Life:
We become what we practice. So we should probably be intentional about what we practice.
Why this matters for Substack Seminary
This is the kind of work we’re doing in Substack Seminary: moving beyond good intentions to think intentionally about how our ministries actually form people.
If you’re building or reimagining a ministry, don’t just ask what you believe or whom you welcome.
Ask what you practice—and who those practices are helping people become.
Join us.
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